“It is not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”
–Henry David Thoreau
Have you noticed how busy everyone is lately?
(Or at least how much people like to talk about how busy they are?)
The signs are everywhere: unanswered emails, appointments cancelled or rescheduled at the last minute, showing up late to the first appointment of the day.
I’ve even noticed a bit of this creeping into my own life and language as well lately.
So, I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and call it for what it is:
Saying you’re too busy is a total excuse.
Yup, an excuse.
I’m not suggesting that saying you’re too busy isn’t in someway true: you probably do have a lot of important stuff going on.
Notice, too, how really great it sounds to talk about how busy you are: we get praise from others for being busy, productive and engaged.
But I find that when it becomes a constant habit to talk about how over busy we are, I notice that we are often trying to communicate something else.
When we say we’re too busy or express our over busy-ness in chronic lateness or delay, what we really mean is:
1) This meeting/appointment/conversation wasn’t really that important to me.
2) I have so many good things going on in my life!
3) I don’t really know what is important to me.
4) I don’t know how to organize my time effectively.
5) I’m overwhelmed, exhausted or distracted.
6) I need some help.
Do any of these ring a bell for you?
Rather than hiding behind a socially acceptable screen of busy-ness, you’ll make things clearer and easier for yourself and others by saying what is actually true (as well as probably saving time and energy you could use to better and more productive ends).
If you’ve bought into the cult of ‘too busy’ as well, try this:
1) If a meeting isn’t important enough to show up for on time, why are you having it? Is it really a priority for you right now? Saying “no” or “not now” may be a better use of everyone’s time and effort.
2) Get clear about your values and your priorities. Post them on your wall, in your wallet, on your phone. Refer to them often and use them as a guide to make decisions about how you spend your time.
3) Celebrate the fullness of your life and embrace what is great about it! What can you be grateful for – your health, stamina, good fortune, hard work, etc – in this time of bounty and goodness?
4) Block off time in your day for both the most important and the most typically time draining tasks. Spend your time like currency: the most time should be doing towards the most important, the least amount of time towards the most draining or less important tasks.
For example, turning off email and blocking specific times of the day to systematically deal with it is one way of eliminating a common time suck/distraction. Focus your energy on your most important activities and find ways to eliminate or delegate the others.
5) Learn how to ask for help. Asking for help is one of the most underutilized leadership skills but makes you stronger, rather than weaker or less effective.
6) Find ways to rest and restore yourself. In our society people are driving themselves to the point of exhaustion or illness before they will pause. I find that procrastination, overwhelm and distraction are often symptoms of the need for a real break. Exercise, sleep and meditation or other spiritual practices are non-negotiable and legitimate daily needs for leaders.
In the Comments section below, I’d love to hear from you. Tell me:
– How do you get caught up in the cult of busy-ness?
– What real and legitimate needs do you have underneath the excuses?
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Before specializing as a professional coach in 2004, I spent more than a decade in leadership, management and program development for state and local government and non-profit organizations. Now I get to help leaders and teams have more clarity and ability to stand up for what's important in their work and in their organizations. Working with me, leaders and teams find more meaning and purpose, feel happier and more confident, navigate change and conflict, and work together better.
Hanna,I am sure you are right about much of this and 5 and 6 are particularly true. However there are elements I feel the need to comment on, having found myself in a role that takes me back 15 years in terms of level of control and responsibility.
Busy for me right now comes from having to prove myself in a very different environment after redundancy and unemployment; about a boss who thinks I am clairvoyant one moment and a moron the next; about being asked to send 250 personalised emails in the next hour; about being expected to deliver on 5 priorities by next week that I am told are all equally important and urgent after 3 months of chasing to get any feedback on how to take them forward; about being told these priorities by a boss who then goes off for two weeks holiday.
Don’t get me wrong busy is better than bored, but at the moment I am not so much busy as running round with my head on fire.
Because of just seeing your headline (before reading the post) along with some other similar things I’ve been reading, thinking lately, I replied delinquently to an e-mail today with simply “sorry it’s late” rather than “I’ve been so busy…” I would add my own twist on “what I really mean”:
When I’m late, rather than “this isn’t important,” “I wanted to be here but chose to prioritize something else first and come when after that.” I’m trying more and more to really make the choice rather than succumb to the “I don’t know what’s important to me” or “I’m overwhelmed” or “I feel some external pressure to do this and guilt made me come even though there are other things I would choose as more important.”
One other thing I’ve been pondering lately that is related: how can we start thinking about energy management instead of time management? I noticed a few minutes ago that I was slipping into some habitual stress and I chose to come read your blog right now as a way to think and choose how “busy” and “stress” connect for me and what they do to my energy level. When I notice my energy ebbing can I give myself permission to check in on that so that I am better able to make wise choices about how to use my time? I hope so. A work in progress…
Alison, thanks for your comment – I hope this post provided as least a cool drink of water for you in your situation!
From your comment, it sounds like a difficult situation! I wonder: of the things keeping you busy and feeling out of control, what is one small piece that is in your control?
Look at what’s frustrating you – what is a need or request you might have for your boss?
Finding at least one small thing that you can speak up about, ask for, or create for yourself can sometimes also help in putting out hair on fire!
Let me know how it goes! Thanks for your comment!
Becky, that’s a great distinction. It is really all about choice. And it’s not necessarily even bad to be late, but we need to own the impact of and that it was a choice we made.
I love your insight about energy as well. Being able to know, read, and tap into our energy – even that it might be low – gives us an opportunity to respond instead of just react blindly.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful and insightful comment! Let me know your progress is going! : )
Really enjoyed this topic, Hanna. I’m so tired of everyone saying, “I’m crazy busy right now.” What does that mean? Thanks for asking and diagnosing some possible solutions. Very relevant.
LOVE this post. I’m the same way…I believe being SO busy that it takes over your life is a sign that you have terrible time management/prioritization skills and need an intervention asap. Proud of you for putting this on “paper”!
Thanks, Natasha! I know you are one busy AND organized woman, so glad if this post connected for you! Thanks so much for the comment!
I hear ya – glad you enjoyed this, Denise! Thanks for the comment!
Thoroughly appreciated this post, Hanna. You have done a nice job going out on a limb, and really naming it. It is a good reminder to me. The comment about priorities and needing rest/ a break really resonates with me. I find it takes courage to take responsibility for both of these in my life. Take care!
Thanks, Laura – it does take courage to take responsibility for our needs and wants, but the result is so satisfying! I’m always glad to hear from you!