"Worry gives a small thing a big shadow." — Swedish proverb
I'm a recovering worrier. Oh, believe me, I can still get myself completely twisted into knots, but I do it a lot less than I used to.
Here's what I've learned: there's some wisdom in worrying (note: I said "some").
Like: caring about what you're doing, being aware of your impact, paying attention to results. These are good things.
However, caring about our impact and results can be overdone — into nail biting, tail spinning or doubting ourselves. (Generally not so helpful.)
Ironically, overdoing the negative aspects of worry instead actually keeps us from achieving the ends we most care about: creating meaningful impact and results. (Oops. Not so much what we are wanting as changemakers, right?)
If you find yourself stuck in worry, try this:
1) What are the dominant themes in the worry you have? What is the worry all about? You, your work, what you are up to in the world?
2) Now, imagine that there was a message for you nestled somewhere in that worry. In reality, 98% of the worry is unlikely to be true: mostly whatever you're worrying about isn't actually likely to happen.
Instead of interpreting the worry as "the truth", imagine that just 2% of the worry is valid but has some wisdom to impact to you. What's the piece that's legitimate within your worry?
3) Once you have that nugget of wisdom identified, how can that information guide your actions?
4) Just like your beloved great-aunt who can't give you a complement to save her life, think of your worry as just an unskillful reminder of what is important to you.
Thank your worry for the reminder, and follow the nugget of truth that you've identified instead of the full-blown worry.
What do you think? Click on the Comments section below and let me know:
1) How do you transform worry into wisdom?
2) How have you used nuggets you've found within worry?
If you enjoyed this article, get email updates…. it's free!
Before specializing as a professional coach in 2004, I spent more than a decade in leadership, management and program development for state and local government and non-profit organizations. Â Now I get to help leaders and teams have more clarity and ability to stand up for what's important in their work and in their organizations. Working with me, leaders and teams find more meaning and purpose, feel happier and more confident, navigate change and conflict, and work together better.
So what is the saying…? Always recovering, never recovered? 😉
Finding the truth, the little helpful nugget in the midst of your worry helps keep perspective. The next question I try to ask myself is what can I DO that will make this better. I have to trick myself into focusing on action that is within my control than on the never ending list of things to worry about. 🙂
So true, and thanks, Heidi, for the comment! Just as you say, rather than getting mired in the worry, how can the “nugget”, as I describe it above, inform your next action?
Keeping on focusing on what is important to us, vs. what we can’t control about a situation is definitely key!
Thanks for stopping by!
I think what helped me move from wisdom from worry is to plan ahead as much as possible. Once I have done all I can do I can then let it go and not worry as much.
Great suggestion, Natasha! Thanks for commenting.
Thanks for this, Hanna. I’d love to say I’m a recovered worrier, but I’m just not there yet. I think you’re point about worry having a place is a great one…it’s just when those of us who struggle with it let it paralyze us or make choices that are about keeping us safe instead of innovative that we can go astray – not to mention be up all night thinking about them!
Dee, thanks for stopping by and for your comment!
So completely true that worry can paralyze us or wreck our sleep (happens over here too!) – the power of our amazing minds to take off like a freight train on some of the most amazing topics!
My experience is that we often want to push the worry away, only to have it spring back on its own. By finding the nugget – just 2% truth – in the worry, we can honor what is important within the worry, and let go of the rest. Let me know if you try it, and what happens!