Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress. – Gandhi
Does anyone love conflict?
Well, maybe dictators or psychopaths do, but for most of us, conflict is often something we avoid like the plague.
If you’d rather have invasive dentistry than deal with team conflict, try this on for size:
What if conflict was merely a signal that something new is trying to happen?
When handled skillfully, conflict can actually assist in creating constructive change.
It’s important to work effectively with conflict rather than ignore it or hope it will just conveniently go away.
We can see the many unintended and negative consequences of chronic unaddressed conflict everywhere: team stagnation, job turnover, absenteeism, and reduced productivity.
So, what can you do? When faced with conflict, try this with your team:
1) Why is it important to solve this problem? Getting clear on why the problem matters to the team is critical.
2) What is the common interest shared by everyone on the team? Look to team vision, values or strategic planning documents as resources or support.
3) What will be different when this problem is resolved? Behind every complaint or problem is a unfulfilled request (or two, or three…). Mine the frustration for the values, ideals, or vision that you are striving for.
4) How have you as a team solved similar issues in the past? What other experiences or resources do you have as a team to draw upon, learn from or harness from past conflicts?
5) Minimize use of toxic team behaviors. Blaming, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt aren’t useful in resolving conflict. Be willing to resolve issues without resorting to these less skillful behaviors.
6) Provide effective feedback and acknowledgment about what works. Teams, like individuals, need positive acknowledgment and supportive feedback that guides the desired behaviors.
In the comments below, I want to hear from you! Tell me:
– How have you effectively transformed team conflict into change?
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Before specializing as a professional coach in 2004, I spent more than a decade in leadership, management and program development for state and local government and non-profit organizations. Now I get to help leaders and teams have more clarity and ability to stand up for what's important in their work and in their organizations. Working with me, leaders and teams find more meaning and purpose, feel happier and more confident, navigate change and conflict, and work together better.
Conflict is one of those things we just try to avoid and sweep aside thanks for the helpful “dealing” instructions!
I agree with you that often team conflict represents a new era for the organization. Teams often outgrow the way things were and need to be given a new direction for things to get back on track. Conflict isn’t bad, it’s an opportunity to make things better.
“If you’d rather have invasive dentistry than deal with team conflict…” you hit the nail on the head. Such a positive spin! Great post.
This is great, Hanna… One of the things I ALWAYS start out saying in my trainings, workshops, etc. is that “conflict leads to creative solutions.” It not conflict that is the issue, but how we handle that conflict and how we frame the conflict that changes the outcomes. Thanks for the great post and the inspiration!
So true, Heidi! I’m glad if the tips are useful!
Natasha, so true! Often when teams experience conflict, it’s because they are “edged” up against something new – some type of change is actually being called out, often not very skillfully. The opportunity exists to rather than taking it (or making it) personally, to see the conflict as an opportunity to change. Thanks for your insight as always!
Glad if it connected for you, Deirdre – though if I am to be truthful, for me it would be the eye doctor instead of the dentist! As someone who has had glasses since age 5, I’d rather visit the dentist any day than the eye doctor! Thanks for your comment!
Pleased if the post inspired you, Emily – and love your spin here as well. When we can embrace the diversity inherent in conflict and leverage it, rather than sweep it under the rug or marginalize it, new and amazing things can be sparked! Thanks for your comment!