Things do not change; we change – Thoreau

 

While I spend most of my professional time these days as a coach for leaders and their teams, I wasn’t always comfortable with the idea of leadership. 

Or more specifically, the concept of my own leadership.

You might have called me a reluctant leader.  

As a young professional, I wasn’t exactly looking for leadership opportunities.  Instead, they wound up finding me.

It started with people asking me to do something.  Their sentences would start like this: “You know, have you ever thought of….?” Or this: “I think you’d be really good at…”

Half the time, I wondered if they were talking to someone else: maybe they actually directing their suggestions to someone over my shoulder (…please, I hoped).

But they weren’t.

So, because someone asked me, I became the president of the state affiliate of my professional association.   

I became president of the board of my food co-op, because someone asked me.  

I became the supervisor to 10 of my former colleagues, most of whom were 20 years older than me.  Because someone thought I could, and suggested I apply for the acting position.

I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit for these opportunities. 

Sure, I thought I was competent, but who, me?   A leader?  

Clearly, other people saw something in me that I couldn’t see.  

And as I stepped into these and other roles, I slowly became the leader that others saw in me.

Why was I oblivious to what was seemingly obvious to others?

Maybe my problem was that I had a faulty view of what being a leader meant: omnipotent, all-knowing and directive.

Now I know, as one of my mentors says, that a leader is someone who takes responsibility for their world.  

Maybe I thought my voice didn’t matter, that I needed permission or approval, or that I didn’t have enough experience.  Now I know that even my smallest contributions can help make the way clearer.

Last weekend, as I guided 100 people through a deep discussion and discernment process, I can clearly see the leader I am now: willing, responsible and brave. 

Not waiting to be asked anymore, now I know I’m the leader others could see in me so many years ago.

In the Comments below, what’s your story?  When have you been a reluctant leader? How did you shift to being the leader you are today?

 

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