Why do smart leaders fail?

Our feelings are our most genuine path to knowledge.  — Audre Lorde

 

How many times have you experienced this? 

The brilliant colleague who can’t seem to connect with others. 

The know-it-all officemate who alienates everyone they meet with. 

The world-weary co-worker who’s seen it-done it-got the t-shirt and can’t wait to tell you why your new idea won’t work.

The world runs on relationships – so being able to successfully and intentionally create, nurture and sustain positive and productive relationships (including with one’s self) is what will support success, at work and at home. 

Research is showing us that emotional intelligence is two times as important as intellect and technical expertise combined in all jobs, in every field.

Smarts and technical know-how are the basic, ground-floor competencies; emotional and relational capacities are being shown over & over again to be the differentiating factor between average and outstanding leaders at individual, team and organizational levels.

Low emotional intelligence leads to difficulty with:
– handling interpersonal issues
– team leadership (especially during challenging times)
– managing change
– eliciting trust

The good news is that emotional intelligence can be learned, starting with attention to yourself and your current patterns. 

We can’t change what we can’t see or notice, so increasing your emotional intelligence will naturally first start with your own ability to observe your own emotions, thoughts, behaviors and actions.

If you’re wanting to boost your own emotional self-awareness, try this:

1) Become more aware of your emotional patterns.  What do you know typically triggers you – what words, actions, behaviors, or attitudes?

2) Dive deeper.  What does it feel like when you are triggered or upset by something?  Pay attention to body sensations that may arise in these situations.  Where do you feel those body sensations?  Name them as best you can.

3) Dissect a real example.  Think about a time recently when things didn’t go so well at work or home: what thoughts and emotions were present?  What behaviors followed?  What actions did you take?  What was the impact?

 

In the Comments below, I want to hear from you!  Tell me:

– What do you notice about the importance of emotional intelligence as a do-gooder?

– Where do you need to grow your own emotional intelligence?

 

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